Time for my weekly progress report. Not a hopelessly bad week. I didn't take my meds at all this week, and I skipped one reading for class. I also skipped one of my classes today. But I had a really good reason. I also had no intentions of skipping and went to the other classes, something just...came up. Not sure if it should count so I am ranking myself somewhere between an A- and a B+.
I did finally declare my third minor and apply for graduation this week so that was good. I also succeeded quite well not being self-destructive in the black whole of negativity that is my townhouse this week. All 5 housemates are in horrible moods. Only other reason that maybe it was a B+ is I am way to nice, leant several friends and family members money and who knows if I will get it back. I know better than this!!
Now for my superly exciting news!!!!!!!!!!! I should be see J somewhere near a month from now! I am one happy happy happy young lady. He told me I should start taking behaving seriously but except maybe a touch of insolence, I have been a pretty good girl and shouldn't be getting a bad spanking. I did mention in the last post needing a spanking, which I think I am allowed to change my mind on if I so choice when it comes closer. I am hoping its a seeing him for the whole weekend thing. Granted a normal person's weekend not mine which goes from 4:30 on thursday to 12 on Tuesday because I crammed tuesday, wednesday and thursday with 4 classes, two independent studies, 3 meetings, and 12 hours of work. But I am one happy happy girl, assuming there is no really harsh spanking. I am not silly enough to think there will be no spankings. He likes my bum too much :) There will be posts about said spankings I am sure
Going with friends tomorrow to get our noses pierced (possibly still contemplating it) and to our favorite feminist friendly sex toy shop. And it is pay day tomorrow as well!
Going to be a good weekend in general.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
In need of motivation and a good cry
I really want a spanking. I, of course, want the good girl kind, but I also REALLY want and probably more importantly need, the type of spanking that leaves you sobbing and needing your dom to hold you for hours afterwards.
It isn't that I have been particularly naughty, but rather the potential to be is rather high. I have been staring at my books for an hour and a half now, and have found just about everything else I should/could do instead. I've been in school since the month I turned 3 (preschool, but still there was homework) . That would mean I am in my 20th year of school. I am so sick of school, I am so sick of homework. I know people will tell me the real world's harder or that I will miss school when its all said and done, but it doesn't change the fact right now I am jonesin for a change of pace. I want to feel like I am accomplishing something....anything!
I was also thinking I should be motivated without needing a spanking to really get it in gear. But the truth is every second semester senior I know is completely unmotivated. Even my 4.0 GPA friends are procrastinating the shit out of school, or skipping assignments, so I am just like every other senior right? The only difference is that I have this thing with spankings, and know that one good spanking and the procrastination is cut in half.... yes, just half. I am a second semester senior, not a saint.
Plus there is something to a "reminder." I have to remind myself on a semi regular basis that spankings HURT! so I don't go do something stupid just to get one. Yes this is a thing, yes it has happened before. A reminder with a spanking that hurts but isn't punishment (because spankings that hurt stop when you are crying, punishments continuing for a solid time) is good because it lasts longer than me simply telling myself spankings hurt.
There is also the benefit of the good cry. I have just been super freakin' ultra cranky. And the good cry, or bawling hysterically, that comes from a spanking is like an emotional reset. I don't know why I am so cranky, but I am. And snappy. Very snappy.
When all is said and done, I need and want a spanking :)
It isn't that I have been particularly naughty, but rather the potential to be is rather high. I have been staring at my books for an hour and a half now, and have found just about everything else I should/could do instead. I've been in school since the month I turned 3 (preschool, but still there was homework) . That would mean I am in my 20th year of school. I am so sick of school, I am so sick of homework. I know people will tell me the real world's harder or that I will miss school when its all said and done, but it doesn't change the fact right now I am jonesin for a change of pace. I want to feel like I am accomplishing something....anything!
I was also thinking I should be motivated without needing a spanking to really get it in gear. But the truth is every second semester senior I know is completely unmotivated. Even my 4.0 GPA friends are procrastinating the shit out of school, or skipping assignments, so I am just like every other senior right? The only difference is that I have this thing with spankings, and know that one good spanking and the procrastination is cut in half.... yes, just half. I am a second semester senior, not a saint.
Plus there is something to a "reminder." I have to remind myself on a semi regular basis that spankings HURT! so I don't go do something stupid just to get one. Yes this is a thing, yes it has happened before. A reminder with a spanking that hurts but isn't punishment (because spankings that hurt stop when you are crying, punishments continuing for a solid time) is good because it lasts longer than me simply telling myself spankings hurt.
There is also the benefit of the good cry. I have just been super freakin' ultra cranky. And the good cry, or bawling hysterically, that comes from a spanking is like an emotional reset. I don't know why I am so cranky, but I am. And snappy. Very snappy.
When all is said and done, I need and want a spanking :)
Thursday, January 24, 2013
A C+ in Good Girl.
Time for my weekly progressive report, and I would give myself a C+ this week. I was going to give myself a C- but I got a letter today invited me to an "Academic Recognition Dinner" with the President of my college. Now if only I had the slightest clue why I was invited, it says its if you were dominated for an award, and unless I forgot something, I haven't been this year, previous years yes. But I figured I deserved a "bump up" for that.
Reasons I don't deserve an A.
1. I took my meds, once since last Friday. I don't know what happened I was doing so well!
2. I didn't do my reading in two classes.
3. I wrote a paper on one of those readings, having not read it, it was a very half assed paper.
4. I wrote another summary and didn't proof read. My teacher didn't collect it thoguh, so I can fix it for Tuesday if I really want to.
5. I was feeling kinda sassy and tease like the other day, and J told me I was being an isolent brat. The conclusion was I may or may not be in trouble. Just like him, no actual clarification.
6. Due to extreme crankyness this week, I might have said a few, or alot.of not so nice things to people.
If you subtract a third of a grade for each point C-, but I think a dinner with the President invite evens things out, no?
I have alot of reading, and 2 summaries this weekend to do. I also really need to work on my resume and my portfolio. I also lost my keys. I need to find those. Yup, Yup, Yup. :)
That's all for now.
Reasons I don't deserve an A.
1. I took my meds, once since last Friday. I don't know what happened I was doing so well!
2. I didn't do my reading in two classes.
3. I wrote a paper on one of those readings, having not read it, it was a very half assed paper.
4. I wrote another summary and didn't proof read. My teacher didn't collect it thoguh, so I can fix it for Tuesday if I really want to.
5. I was feeling kinda sassy and tease like the other day, and J told me I was being an isolent brat. The conclusion was I may or may not be in trouble. Just like him, no actual clarification.
6. Due to extreme crankyness this week, I might have said a few, or alot.of not so nice things to people.
If you subtract a third of a grade for each point C-, but I think a dinner with the President invite evens things out, no?
I have alot of reading, and 2 summaries this weekend to do. I also really need to work on my resume and my portfolio. I also lost my keys. I need to find those. Yup, Yup, Yup. :)
That's all for now.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Ace of a Weekend
This was a pretty great weekend. Went to a vanilla friends party, but ended up having a "spank off" with my best friend, as a third friend who was kinky, spanked us till one of us screamed. I won, but my friend really didn't have a chance. Went panty shopping with a friend so she could get "adult" panties on Saturday Sunday involved working on a project and gorilla glueing my fingers together while making a present for someone that is KILLING me to have to wait several weeks to give, because it was way more successful then I was expecting and I want to share. And today was spent doing homework. I did all the homework I intend on doing for the week. There is one reading that is pointless and I have no interest in doing.
And I got to have nice relatively long kinky and vanilla conversations with my man all weekend, for several weeks now really, and it is literally the highlight of my day when I do get to talk to him. I also had a nice skype session with two of my in person kink friends, Megh and Dave.
Dave seems to forget I have a top sometimes, usually its with small things like fetlife. But I asked Megh to go on a trip to see a show with me and she asked Dave. His opinion was it was not safe for two girls to take a train/subway by themselvesm so Megh can't go. I have run out of people to ask do mainly to a dislike of musicals or this assumption its not safe (why is this a thing?). So I said ok and briefly mentioned I'd go by myself. He informed me I would do no such thing without earning a "trip to their woodshed."
They literally have a woodshed. I think its really cool. But no I have a top thank you very much, who I highly doubt will care (about going, he would care about the spanking). Dave threatens me regularly when Megh and I get together and sass him, but he would never actually do anything because I am in an actual relationship. Except this time involved "the look" and he used my middle name. He was serious, and I laughed at him. Ok, I know, its rude but I have J and I was irritated I don't like when J tells me what to do. He'll get over his cranky bossiness, I'm sure. He will have to because I am going.
I fell off of the "taking my meds everyday" band wagon. I missed Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Whoops.
Hope all is well for everyone.
And I got to have nice relatively long kinky and vanilla conversations with my man all weekend, for several weeks now really, and it is literally the highlight of my day when I do get to talk to him. I also had a nice skype session with two of my in person kink friends, Megh and Dave.
Dave seems to forget I have a top sometimes, usually its with small things like fetlife. But I asked Megh to go on a trip to see a show with me and she asked Dave. His opinion was it was not safe for two girls to take a train/subway by themselvesm so Megh can't go. I have run out of people to ask do mainly to a dislike of musicals or this assumption its not safe (why is this a thing?). So I said ok and briefly mentioned I'd go by myself. He informed me I would do no such thing without earning a "trip to their woodshed."
They literally have a woodshed. I think its really cool. But no I have a top thank you very much, who I highly doubt will care (about going, he would care about the spanking). Dave threatens me regularly when Megh and I get together and sass him, but he would never actually do anything because I am in an actual relationship. Except this time involved "the look" and he used my middle name. He was serious, and I laughed at him. Ok, I know, its rude but I have J and I was irritated I don't like when J tells me what to do. He'll get over his cranky bossiness, I'm sure. He will have to because I am going.
I fell off of the "taking my meds everyday" band wagon. I missed Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Whoops.
Hope all is well for everyone.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
I got an A in "good girl"
My first week back is complete! And I have been one good girl if I do say so myself. I have completed all my home for this week, and I even enjoyed the reading for my adbnormal psych courses! As of last night I took my meds for two full weeks! And I was accepted to to be present at a national conference. A couple more weeks of this extreme good girlness and at least in my opinion I will totally deserve "cookies." Just sayin'
I have Mondays and Fridays off because of how I set up my schedule which is nice, but man oh man do those three days whup my bum. To the point I was to tired the last two mornings to send J cute outfit pics.
Homework this week:
Class 1--- Read Chapter 2, right reaction paper
Class 2--- Read 2 articles (about 45 pages of reading.)
Class 3---- Read Case study 5 pages of reading
Class 4----- 17 pages of reading.
Independent study--- Find books
Not too bad, I also should work on my resume and portfolio, as well as the project I am taking to the conference.
I am also have breakfast with a friend tomorrow morning, and I am suppose to go to a party tomorrow night because I don't have "legitmate plans" to get out of it. But if I go to an off campus party some shit happens and I get in trouble. I basically gave up parties after freshmen year. Alcholol makes me hopelessly open and very "risk take-y." You know "Ha Spankings don't hurt! I can do what I want, like pot or driving with a drunk driver. Ha!" I don't drink that often, it really isn't my thing and I prefer intimate dinner parties as opposed to large raging parties. And then there is the "it's a traffic light party." My friends don't believe that seeing J every few months makes me "taken" but I and J disagree, so there.
I hope everyone had a good week. Wish me luck into not getting in trouble tomorrow night :)
I have Mondays and Fridays off because of how I set up my schedule which is nice, but man oh man do those three days whup my bum. To the point I was to tired the last two mornings to send J cute outfit pics.
Homework this week:
Class 1--- Read Chapter 2, right reaction paper
Class 2--- Read 2 articles (about 45 pages of reading.)
Class 3---- Read Case study 5 pages of reading
Class 4----- 17 pages of reading.
Independent study--- Find books
Not too bad, I also should work on my resume and portfolio, as well as the project I am taking to the conference.
I am also have breakfast with a friend tomorrow morning, and I am suppose to go to a party tomorrow night because I don't have "legitmate plans" to get out of it. But if I go to an off campus party some shit happens and I get in trouble. I basically gave up parties after freshmen year. Alcholol makes me hopelessly open and very "risk take-y." You know "Ha Spankings don't hurt! I can do what I want, like pot or driving with a drunk driver. Ha!" I don't drink that often, it really isn't my thing and I prefer intimate dinner parties as opposed to large raging parties. And then there is the "it's a traffic light party." My friends don't believe that seeing J every few months makes me "taken" but I and J disagree, so there.
I hope everyone had a good week. Wish me luck into not getting in trouble tomorrow night :)
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
First Last Day
I made it through my last first semester of college. And I am crazy tired. 3 75 minute classes and a meeting for both of my independent studies, and I am rather tired. Normally I would need to add in several hours of work for a Tuesday but we aren't officially starting until tomorrow.
It should be a good semester. So far I have class with a tall younger laid back guy with long curly hair, a class with my favorite teacher and a class with an older professor who threw his brief case, yells when he talks, and hit a girl in the head because he was standing to close to her while gesturing. I have one more class to go tomorrow.
Homework wise for Thursday, my last day of class for a week, I have 17 pages of reading with a summary, and another chapter in another class. Not bad so far.
I am hopelessly tired. I hope all's well.
It should be a good semester. So far I have class with a tall younger laid back guy with long curly hair, a class with my favorite teacher and a class with an older professor who threw his brief case, yells when he talks, and hit a girl in the head because he was standing to close to her while gesturing. I have one more class to go tomorrow.
Homework wise for Thursday, my last day of class for a week, I have 17 pages of reading with a summary, and another chapter in another class. Not bad so far.
I am hopelessly tired. I hope all's well.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Technique 375: OTK VS WICKED
I move back to school tomorrow and thought it would be wise to go with clean blankets and clothes. So off I went early in the morning, my untouched coffee in hand, to the laundromat with my several baskets of laundry ( I like clothes, I hate laundry, so I had about a month's worth of clothing). In my caffenine-less state I did not think to bring something to entertain myself, and I was fully convinced it was a waste of gas to go home, about a 25 minute drive. I cleaned my car, organized the papers in my glovebox, and made a grocery list. It took me maybe 15 minutes of the wash cycle. So I sat there day-dreaming to occupy myself.
And of course the topic of my day-dreaming was J. Really, this was nothing new. You know the Lady Antebellum Song "Need you now" the line "And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time." This is highly true with me. If I am not fully engaged in a task, my mind is on J, and I eventually wonder if I cross his mind.
Anyway, so I was lost in my own thoughts. I was actually thinking about the first weekend I stayed over his house. We went to applebees, and I offered to pay and was told no, and I backed down rather quickly. So I was thinking about now, wondering if I would back down and I decided I would probably not. I was wondering what J would do in that same instance, and I know he would most likely threaten a spanking for "not minding," and if I gave him enough grief he would probably follow through.
Now in my head this would not be a really BIG offense, and I am insistent the wicked is only for big offenses and the Lexan paddle is by no means a walk in the park. My mind decided a hand spanking with maybe a bit of the hairbrush if an implement was so necessary Although I have never been given just a hand spanking I would imagine it would be otk. As the scenario is playing out in my head, J sits on the couch and tells me to get over his lap. My inner subbie, forgets she's a sub and refuses. He and her go back and forth for a while until he asks if she would rather have a spanking with the wicked.
At this thought it brought me out of a daydream. I honestly do not know what would be worse. Ok, I know this sounds ridiculous A hand spanking OTK or a wickeding (think plastic switch). Seems like this should be a no brainer, but I HATE OTK. I am a bigger girl. I am not ashamed of this, I love myself. J can't have a huge problem with it or when I asked him after our first meeting if I was "ok enough" he'd have said no. But going over his lap gets me 12 types of self -conscious I am paranoid I am going to "Squish" him. It isn't he is little, he is about an inch (ish) taller than me, and he's a fireman so it isn't he's weak but still. Add in how juvenile it makes me feel, and how restricted. There is far more restraint over J's lap on the couch then laying on the bed.
So what's worse the pain, or the emotional/mental aspect. Not really sure, but in the parking lot I was pretty sure in my day-dream my inner subbie would have opted for the Wicked. She's probably not very smart :-p
Well with moving back in, school and work will start soon. I left on bad terms with a couple housemates. I am hoping with break all tempers have cooled down. I am the mom in the house made I can paddle them?
Have a lovely rest of the weekend.
And of course the topic of my day-dreaming was J. Really, this was nothing new. You know the Lady Antebellum Song "Need you now" the line "And I wonder if I ever cross your mind, for me it happens all the time." This is highly true with me. If I am not fully engaged in a task, my mind is on J, and I eventually wonder if I cross his mind.
Anyway, so I was lost in my own thoughts. I was actually thinking about the first weekend I stayed over his house. We went to applebees, and I offered to pay and was told no, and I backed down rather quickly. So I was thinking about now, wondering if I would back down and I decided I would probably not. I was wondering what J would do in that same instance, and I know he would most likely threaten a spanking for "not minding," and if I gave him enough grief he would probably follow through.
Now in my head this would not be a really BIG offense, and I am insistent the wicked is only for big offenses and the Lexan paddle is by no means a walk in the park. My mind decided a hand spanking with maybe a bit of the hairbrush if an implement was so necessary Although I have never been given just a hand spanking I would imagine it would be otk. As the scenario is playing out in my head, J sits on the couch and tells me to get over his lap. My inner subbie, forgets she's a sub and refuses. He and her go back and forth for a while until he asks if she would rather have a spanking with the wicked.
At this thought it brought me out of a daydream. I honestly do not know what would be worse. Ok, I know this sounds ridiculous A hand spanking OTK or a wickeding (think plastic switch). Seems like this should be a no brainer, but I HATE OTK. I am a bigger girl. I am not ashamed of this, I love myself. J can't have a huge problem with it or when I asked him after our first meeting if I was "ok enough" he'd have said no. But going over his lap gets me 12 types of self -conscious I am paranoid I am going to "Squish" him. It isn't he is little, he is about an inch (ish) taller than me, and he's a fireman so it isn't he's weak but still. Add in how juvenile it makes me feel, and how restricted. There is far more restraint over J's lap on the couch then laying on the bed.
So what's worse the pain, or the emotional/mental aspect. Not really sure, but in the parking lot I was pretty sure in my day-dream my inner subbie would have opted for the Wicked. She's probably not very smart :-p
Well with moving back in, school and work will start soon. I left on bad terms with a couple housemates. I am hoping with break all tempers have cooled down. I am the mom in the house made I can paddle them?
Have a lovely rest of the weekend.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Intro to Packing Procrastination
Hi!
So that whole history post is taking way longer due to to a short attention span. So I thought I would update. Really it is a way to procrastinate on packing. I have been packing my clothes and books and other random things for about three hours now. Its been a case of fold some clothes, play games on my computer, locate all my text books, read out of a text book, stare ominously at my room, get discourage write on blogger. I even took inventory of my panties.
Being into DD and spankings an obsession with panties kind of comes par for the course for some, us included. Jay is kind of particular. We refer to them as "JA" or (Jay approved). He's a full cut brief kind of guy. No free advertising aka labels on the waistband. Real elastic around the waist and legs, not the kind that is covered with fabric. He'd prefer white and cotton, but says non-cotton (nylon, but I HATE that word, it makes me think of those parachutes you use to play with when you were kids or like the rip-stop my brother makes larping weapons out of, not the silky soft material of said "non cotton" panties are.) are ok too. And I love all things funky so I find the need to not have just white ones. We both enjoy discovering which brands and styles are better (nicer material, last longer ect) so I have a bunch of different ones. So I decided to take inventory. I also own boyshorts and hipsters because he loves me and lets me have that much. Though if I came to his house in those, he has promised me a blistered bottom and the chore of cutting them up. Not only do I know I would be in for the worst spanking of my life because it would be direct disobedience, I also want to make him happy. He may let me have the hipsters and boyshorts, but thongs aren't allowed. If I started buying them whether I showed them off to him or not, my bottom would look like a map of the streets of NY (NJ? i can't remember what he says.)
We had an interesting talk a couple days ago about that. We have this evil implement from Cane-iac called the "wicked sister". It is pure evil. It is the worst thing I have been spanked with and minus a loopy johnny I think we have tried a wide range of implements. Anyway, I haven't actually had a punishment. (I haven't been punished, punished in over a year, this is not to say I haven't been spanked and spanked to tears, rather that I haven't been spanked for punishment.) with this evil thing, but after being able to conveniently "forget" to bring it for several visits, I was told at the beginning of last semester that It would be a poor choice to not bring it, (again direct disobiedence). Jay felt I needed a reminder not to procrastinate or get senioritis (in all honesty I could use another "reminder" considering I still had senioritis last semester). I know that I counted to 18 (I said 6, he said 12 but I guess that was not enough), but I eventually stopped counting, stood up and begged him to stop(babbling about not wanting to cry). But I loved the welts afterwards. We both concluded we like the implements with switches and birches because of the welts. It was interesting to learn something about each other, I'm not sure we knew. There is a problem with this though. By telling him I like the welts and wouldn't mind a few, he knows that about me and I have no doubt in my mind will act on it. But getting welts HURTS! It is like how I could tell him how to create the perfect punishment for me knowing the different ways he spanks technique wise, but I am sure not going to. That wicked thing is plenty. He also has his eyes on the "extreme loopy johnny" from london tanners. What happened to a hand spanking?
I should finish packing. I leave Sunday and I have to go get my meds, some food, and vacumn/wash my car tomorrow, so it really needs to get done today. Its just soooooo boring. On a positive note I have taken my meds for an entire week, this have never happened before!
Wishing everyone the best!
So that whole history post is taking way longer due to to a short attention span. So I thought I would update. Really it is a way to procrastinate on packing. I have been packing my clothes and books and other random things for about three hours now. Its been a case of fold some clothes, play games on my computer, locate all my text books, read out of a text book, stare ominously at my room, get discourage write on blogger. I even took inventory of my panties.
Being into DD and spankings an obsession with panties kind of comes par for the course for some, us included. Jay is kind of particular. We refer to them as "JA" or (Jay approved). He's a full cut brief kind of guy. No free advertising aka labels on the waistband. Real elastic around the waist and legs, not the kind that is covered with fabric. He'd prefer white and cotton, but says non-cotton (nylon, but I HATE that word, it makes me think of those parachutes you use to play with when you were kids or like the rip-stop my brother makes larping weapons out of, not the silky soft material of said "non cotton" panties are.) are ok too. And I love all things funky so I find the need to not have just white ones. We both enjoy discovering which brands and styles are better (nicer material, last longer ect) so I have a bunch of different ones. So I decided to take inventory. I also own boyshorts and hipsters because he loves me and lets me have that much. Though if I came to his house in those, he has promised me a blistered bottom and the chore of cutting them up. Not only do I know I would be in for the worst spanking of my life because it would be direct disobedience, I also want to make him happy. He may let me have the hipsters and boyshorts, but thongs aren't allowed. If I started buying them whether I showed them off to him or not, my bottom would look like a map of the streets of NY (NJ? i can't remember what he says.)
We had an interesting talk a couple days ago about that. We have this evil implement from Cane-iac called the "wicked sister". It is pure evil. It is the worst thing I have been spanked with and minus a loopy johnny I think we have tried a wide range of implements. Anyway, I haven't actually had a punishment. (I haven't been punished, punished in over a year, this is not to say I haven't been spanked and spanked to tears, rather that I haven't been spanked for punishment.) with this evil thing, but after being able to conveniently "forget" to bring it for several visits, I was told at the beginning of last semester that It would be a poor choice to not bring it, (again direct disobiedence). Jay felt I needed a reminder not to procrastinate or get senioritis (in all honesty I could use another "reminder" considering I still had senioritis last semester). I know that I counted to 18 (I said 6, he said 12 but I guess that was not enough), but I eventually stopped counting, stood up and begged him to stop(babbling about not wanting to cry). But I loved the welts afterwards. We both concluded we like the implements with switches and birches because of the welts. It was interesting to learn something about each other, I'm not sure we knew. There is a problem with this though. By telling him I like the welts and wouldn't mind a few, he knows that about me and I have no doubt in my mind will act on it. But getting welts HURTS! It is like how I could tell him how to create the perfect punishment for me knowing the different ways he spanks technique wise, but I am sure not going to. That wicked thing is plenty. He also has his eyes on the "extreme loopy johnny" from london tanners. What happened to a hand spanking?
I should finish packing. I leave Sunday and I have to go get my meds, some food, and vacumn/wash my car tomorrow, so it really needs to get done today. Its just soooooo boring. On a positive note I have taken my meds for an entire week, this have never happened before!
Wishing everyone the best!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Rae's Random Ramblings 101
Hi! My name is Rae, sort of anyway.I am a 22 year old college senior. In five days I move back to school to embark on my final semester of undergrad. I have been in an...interesting relationship throughout my entire time at school. It has fluctuated as to just what it is, I am sure I will discuss it more in the future, but the one thing that has always remained the same is that we practice Domestic Discipline.
I had a blog several months ago (Lexan Motivation) but got rid of it as I updated it sporadically, used it in a passive aggressive way at times to tell Jay things I was uncomfortable saying to him, and I never proof read before I posted. I intend on fixing at least two of those problems. I am hoping to write something twice a week, and I am determined to quit being passive aggressive or uncomfortable with Jay, plus it bugged me he never commented anyway. I also intend on proof reading, but my grammar is rather bad. I am quite smart and get good marks, but commas and I just do not get along. I also wrote and commented on blogs as "Percussionchic" though considering I haven't played music since Freshman year, first semester, that too seemed outdated. (You can find me on fetlife under that still though.)
I will mostly be writing about two things on this blog as noted in the description, my last semester of college and TTWD. I really want to have the best semester yet, so I want to use this as a way to be accountable to myself. I never do all the readings, I skip classes, and I never do all my homework. Honestly, I have never found I really need to, I still have a 3.6 and will graduate with a bachelors and four associates degrees. But there was always a bit of "oh no, am I ACTUALLY going to pass?" Truth is I am a suck up, a great bullshitter and I take tests really well. I figure if I make myself "report" any readings, skipped classes and missed homework it will give me some form of accountability. I live in a dorm, and "self punishment" would never work for me seeing as its knowing that I let someone down that works, and Jay is more about the big things. You know things involving cars, (drinking/texting while driving for example) I kind of always wished Jay was more about the little things but I don't see him enough. But I need to do something, I could have done better, and I feel like a hypocrite, yelling at my cousin. I should add "participating in class" to my list of things I should work on, but I am soooo afraid of being wrong, I know I won't do it. I may add "take meds everyday" to this list, I suck at it. Well not quite true, I make a conscientious effort to not get up and take them even if I remember.
I also intend on writing about TTWD. I love spankings, I like pain, I like being dominated. I don't like punishments, but I know I need them. I have a lovely dom, and a great deal of in person friends who are into TTWD and the more online friends the merrier. I will write a more detailed description of my history with TTWD tomorrow. I also like writing spanking stories so from time to time, those too will make their way up here.
Although I don't really intend to use this to rant, I am spending my 8th consecutive semester housing with 4-5 hormonal college girls. Sometimes its just too much to handle so I reserve the right :)
So I think I will wrap up this post with some random about me facts. I love the color teal and green though I have recently become obsessed with the color pink. Jay knows me better than anyone in my life, and if it was up to me, I would spend every moment with him for the rest of our lives. I had brain surgery when I was 16, was abused as a child (no that is NOT why I like spankings) and I struggle everyday with self-harm as a result the song "defy gravity" from the Musical Wicked is basically my theme song. I intend on tattooing it to my foot in May. I have an obsession with turtles that some would call unhealthy. I was given a bracelet from almost all of the most important people in my life and I wear them every day in order to remember I am loved. I self-identify as bi-sexual (not a phase), a feminist (specifically a sex positive feminist), and an activist. I am quiet until you get to know me, then beware. I dislike being in large of groups of people at parties for instance and prefer intimate gatherings. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life but I know I love children. If I could do anything I would be a photographer, but I have not set myself up for that at all because of the family ridicule Maybe someday?. I love music, harry potter fanfiction, and my dog. My favorite movies are Letters to Juliette, the Avengers, Iron Man (1+2), White Christmas, and the Newsies. I am wicked stubborn, and I overthink everything. Both are trait Jay would tell you he hasn't spanked out of me yet. I love making things for other people but feel shy and dorky when giving them said thing. Tamora Pierce is my favorite writer, besides J.K. Rowling. I have come a LONG way in the past three years and I have no intentions of going backwards.
I hope you stick around and read. Please feel free to comment. I promise to update twice a week, if not you can spank me ;)
I had a blog several months ago (Lexan Motivation) but got rid of it as I updated it sporadically, used it in a passive aggressive way at times to tell Jay things I was uncomfortable saying to him, and I never proof read before I posted. I intend on fixing at least two of those problems. I am hoping to write something twice a week, and I am determined to quit being passive aggressive or uncomfortable with Jay, plus it bugged me he never commented anyway. I also intend on proof reading, but my grammar is rather bad. I am quite smart and get good marks, but commas and I just do not get along. I also wrote and commented on blogs as "Percussionchic" though considering I haven't played music since Freshman year, first semester, that too seemed outdated. (You can find me on fetlife under that still though.)
I will mostly be writing about two things on this blog as noted in the description, my last semester of college and TTWD. I really want to have the best semester yet, so I want to use this as a way to be accountable to myself. I never do all the readings, I skip classes, and I never do all my homework. Honestly, I have never found I really need to, I still have a 3.6 and will graduate with a bachelors and four associates degrees. But there was always a bit of "oh no, am I ACTUALLY going to pass?" Truth is I am a suck up, a great bullshitter and I take tests really well. I figure if I make myself "report" any readings, skipped classes and missed homework it will give me some form of accountability. I live in a dorm, and "self punishment" would never work for me seeing as its knowing that I let someone down that works, and Jay is more about the big things. You know things involving cars, (drinking/texting while driving for example) I kind of always wished Jay was more about the little things but I don't see him enough. But I need to do something, I could have done better, and I feel like a hypocrite, yelling at my cousin. I should add "participating in class" to my list of things I should work on, but I am soooo afraid of being wrong, I know I won't do it. I may add "take meds everyday" to this list, I suck at it. Well not quite true, I make a conscientious effort to not get up and take them even if I remember.
I also intend on writing about TTWD. I love spankings, I like pain, I like being dominated. I don't like punishments, but I know I need them. I have a lovely dom, and a great deal of in person friends who are into TTWD and the more online friends the merrier. I will write a more detailed description of my history with TTWD tomorrow. I also like writing spanking stories so from time to time, those too will make their way up here.
Although I don't really intend to use this to rant, I am spending my 8th consecutive semester housing with 4-5 hormonal college girls. Sometimes its just too much to handle so I reserve the right :)
So I think I will wrap up this post with some random about me facts. I love the color teal and green though I have recently become obsessed with the color pink. Jay knows me better than anyone in my life, and if it was up to me, I would spend every moment with him for the rest of our lives. I had brain surgery when I was 16, was abused as a child (no that is NOT why I like spankings) and I struggle everyday with self-harm as a result the song "defy gravity" from the Musical Wicked is basically my theme song. I intend on tattooing it to my foot in May. I have an obsession with turtles that some would call unhealthy. I was given a bracelet from almost all of the most important people in my life and I wear them every day in order to remember I am loved. I self-identify as bi-sexual (not a phase), a feminist (specifically a sex positive feminist), and an activist. I am quiet until you get to know me, then beware. I dislike being in large of groups of people at parties for instance and prefer intimate gatherings. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life but I know I love children. If I could do anything I would be a photographer, but I have not set myself up for that at all because of the family ridicule Maybe someday?. I love music, harry potter fanfiction, and my dog. My favorite movies are Letters to Juliette, the Avengers, Iron Man (1+2), White Christmas, and the Newsies. I am wicked stubborn, and I overthink everything. Both are trait Jay would tell you he hasn't spanked out of me yet. I love making things for other people but feel shy and dorky when giving them said thing. Tamora Pierce is my favorite writer, besides J.K. Rowling. I have come a LONG way in the past three years and I have no intentions of going backwards.
I hope you stick around and read. Please feel free to comment. I promise to update twice a week, if not you can spank me ;)
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