We'll See

We'll see. I hate that phrase. We'll see. And because I hate it, J uses it all the time. I hate it the first time he said it to me 4 years ago, and I hated it when he used it just last night. Now I know it sounds like a completely harmless phrase. But it's not. It is an evil phrase used by a Dom, to confuse a subbie into butterflies so she has no idea what she is in for, and is a bit nervous as a result.

Assuming nothing has changed, I am seeing J in about 10 days!!! And lately either I've been really naughty or he's feeling evilly Dom-like because I have been getting alot of we'll sees. Like last night when I did my laundry didn't feel like separating it and through the white in with what i forgot was a new burgeony t-shirt, and now I have pink splotched panties. Or the night before when Bengay  was mentioned and it made me think of my experiments Sophomore year with Icy Hot, and sheer curiosity  Now he's all "We'll see" about using it. (It hurt! And he said restraints, aka no rubbing, and its lotiony I won't even let him put good lotion on me after my bum's thrashed because of my dislike of being touched. Now he wants to put stuff that hurts?)

He also said there was going to be "plenty of loopy stripes for procrastination." After trying to whine my way out of it, he "we'll see" 'd me. I would be less whiney if I knew it would work. I am a second semester senior who is well aware that after next weekend I prolly won't see J until another 6 months, when I will be out of school making a follow-up pointless unless its for like being disobeident or something.

And my "grades in good girl" seem to have been a mistake on my part, considering again, I was we'll see'd about getting punished for that.

Now, don't get me wrong, I want to be spanked. I need the release that comes with it, and I feel close to J afterward. It breaks my stubborness to an extent and with a combination of a spankings ability to make one feel vulnerable, it makes me be able to be cuddly. I have this mental block that says "I should be tough, no hugs or cuddly. Tough!" but he's my boyfriend. THere should be lots of cuddling. I also want sensual spankings, and just because spankings. I know in like three-ish days we have to make up for the last 6 months of not seeing each other and the next 6 months we probably will not see each other, but I am doubting my bum can take all his we'll sees.

At least its spring break so comfy couches all week as opposed to hard wooden desk chairs. There will be no grades in good girl the next two weeks, not setting myself up anymore than I already am, thank you. :)

Next week is going to be so busy with 4 midterms, 3 papers, 2 rehersals, 2 workshops, 9 hours of work, 1 interview, 1 award dinner, 2 events, 3 birthdays and my usual classes, maybe I will actually sleep at J's house!